Bob Hope in Heaven

 BOB  HOPE IN HEAVEN

For  those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your  Grandparents.

And  thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL  E-MAIL.

I  HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR  HEART.

Tribute to a man who DID make a  difference.

   
ON  TURNING 70
'I  still chase women, but only 
downhill'.

ON  TURNING 80
'That's  the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs  pressing.'

ON  TURNING 90
'You  know you're getting old when the candles cost more than  the cake.'

ON  TURNING 100
'I  don't feel old. In fact,  I don't feel
anything until noon. Then it's time for  my nap.'

ON  GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING
'I  ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping  on them.'

ON  NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome  to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home,  'Passover'.

ON  GOLF
'Golf  is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green  fees.'

ON  PRESIDENTS
'I  have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only  six.'

ON  WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER

'When  I was born, the doctor said to my  mother,
Congratulations,  you have  an eight pound  ham.

ON  RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD  MEDAL
'I  feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of  character to fight it.'

ON  HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four  of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother  threw on another brother.'

ON  HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's  how I learned to dance.  Waiting for the  bathroom.'

ON  HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I  would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the 
stuff the audience threw at me.'

ON  GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've  done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the  hereafter on a technicality.'

Give  me a sense of humour;    Lord,  give me the grace to see a  joke,
to  get some humour out of  life,

and  to the person receiving this

the grace to pass it on  to others.